My World....

Lately I've been having some trouble understanding why life goes the way that it does.  Is it the choices that we make, others make or is it just fate?  Of course we all know that the choices that we make as individuals can make a heavy impact on our lives, but what about the choices that are made for us whether or not it's what we want.  Personally, I think that I haven't made the right choices in my life.  Several years ago I lost everything that meant the world to me because of choices that I made.  I chose to cheat on my husband and that was defintely a bad choice on my part.  Of course, his part in what happened between us will never be admitted so at least I have been willing to take at least 50% of the blame for the marriage going wrong.  Who knows what he was doing while he spent all of those late nights out drinking and not coming home for a day or two, but I guess that wasn't suppose to make an impact on my life and what choices I made for myself at the time.  Right now, I've been in a relationship for all most 8 years.  When he and I met I owned my own trailer and paid my own bills.  Now, all most 8 years later I've been homeless 7 different times along with my children and the bills aren't paid on time.  Again, the choice I made to be with someone that I have been totally faithful to feels like a bad one.  We have a 5 year old son together so I try to make it work regardless of how unhappy I may be.  The unhappiness that I feel comes from the lack of stability and security in the relationship.  It's quite depressing when you're with someone that obviously cannot support you or your children.  I recently told him that if things don't change by the first of the year that I refuse to live another 8 years like this.  It seems to me that I was doing much better on my own.  Now the house that my step-father bought for us to live in is going into foreclosure because when he passed away there was nothing in place to pay off the loan.  Of course Mr. Wonderful says he's trying to make money, but that line is getting old.  Of course I could go back to work and make minimum wage and we'd still be unable to keep up.  So, here you all are, inside my world.  We're losing the house the my kids have adjusted to and no programs to help us because our names aren't on the deed.  So now what?  Do we go begging door to door?  Write the congressman and senator?  Where is our piece of the pie from $700 billion?  I'll be back with a follow up once I lose my attitude.....